Tuesday, June 14, 2011


dress~ Marshall's, $25.
 There has been some discussion lately from Patti over at Not Dead Yet Style on the invisibility of women over fifty.  While I am not  generally an invisible person, I know what she means.  Most of the advertisers choose to forget about us--even though we are a significant income pool.  Magazines focus on the young and sometimes it seems we are just forgotten.

gladiator sandals~TJ Maxx.
 Rather than feeling helpless about this conundrum, I decided I would do my part to keep others my age from slipping into invisibility.  Whenever I see a person my age or older that looks particularly good that day, I make sure I compliment them.  One day it was at a graduation.  An older women had her hair done in this absolutely perfect bun.  I was fascinated by her hair.  She had this adorable, sequined pink shawl and coordinated pink dress.  I cut my way through the crowd and told her she looked lovely.  In the mass of graduates and parents, I think I made a grandmother feel a little less invisible that day.


  1. Good for you! We ARE NOT invisible! In fact, although our culture values youth above all else, I believe a woman becomes more seasoned as she gets older; and if I might add, even more beautiful. Her history is written on her face, and she's lived through some stuff. You my friend, are never invisible! Hugs! ~Serene

  2. What a great dress -- you look fabulous in it, and I suspect you'll have someone cut through a crowd to tell you just that.

  3. Thank you for the shout out Paula!

    You are right about advertisers and popular culture. The models in "anti-aging" ads are about 19 years old. But we don't have to follow along with the masses - you do a wonderful job of celebrating the beauty of over-40 women.

    Let's be visible today! xoxoxo- Patti

  4. I no longer accept invisibility!! and I love that you compliment other women who are in our age group! your dress is gorgeous!! you are right about retailers...they ignore a huge market and there is significant opportunity there!

  5. Well you made me feel better about one of the reasons I picked my Psychiatrist. I will preface with once again, ONE of many many reasons. She's a damn good doctor who was the only one after 20 years to diagnose me correctly. But there was a immediate connection because she is so freakin cute. She wears trendy clothes or clothes that fit her quirky nature. She's well into her sixties and obviously has no desire to fade into the background. I think at this time though she is sick of me commenting on what she is wearing. I can't HELP it though, its all so awesome! She does appreciate it though. screw em. Your not fading out and I refuse to go down that road. We'll show them! Baby boomers and Gen X have always stirred it up.

  6. I would add that women "of a certain age" also carry themselves with a certain blend of confidence, self-knowledge, and acceptance of their own skin that you just don't tend to see with much younger women. It's one of our rewards for making it to where we are!

  7. We are here and we should let this stupid advertising people know!
    I wrote a lenghty and a bit nasty email to a company that I use to buy beaty products from and that have never had a person over 30 on their adversiting campaigns a few years back and I stopped buying their products all together.
    You look beutifully blue!

  8. Look at you in that fabulous dress with that fantastic jacket and those gladiator sandals. Rock on Paula!

  9. That's a nice outfit. I like a touch of denim.

    There are a lot of gals out there with thought-out combinations.
    The good things you see in others reflect back on you -- so looking for them is a reward.

  10. Your anecdote about feeling "invisible" brought a little tear to my eye! I know how much one little compliment means to me, and I always try and reach out to others, especially those who are not accustomed to being the center of attention. I think a good rule of them is never to keep a compliment to yourself--pass it on!

    PS--You look lovely, that geometric dress is a stunner!

  11. Serene~It is so true, It would be wonderful if the rest of our culture felt that way! I do think there is a quiet confidence tho about us....
    Mater~Awwww---thanks mater!
    Pam~that will be our motto--nevr be invisible!
    Dhamma~We will show them--I'm feeling that rebelious spirit all over again!!
    Anne~that will be my mantra for the next 20 years!

    Ofelia~I'm glad you wrote that letter. I've done a lot of that too--but I get too angry. Now I try and make others not invisisble.
    Thanks, Susan--we will.
    Rose~It was so refreshing to see someone take care in what they wore too.
    ariel~absolutely! Never keep a compliment to yourself! It makes people happy to hear it--and I feel good too. Evreybody wins!

  12. oh, oh, oh--let's start a campaign in which we make a point to do this daily, if not more often. I often remark, now, on others appearance. I didn't do that before I started my blog.

  13. I absolutely love the colors and pattern in your dress. You look really sharp in it. Love the sandals!
    I know I feel invisible a lot of the time. It is kind of funny though to be plus size and feel invisible. You would think I would be very visible! We should all be more supportive of each other. I need to compliment other women on how nice they look. Perhaps if we all did this more often, it would encourage others to speak up and make us all feel less invisible.
    Yesterday I was in Sephora and saw the clip in hair feathers. I looked at them and put them down thinking that I would look silly with them in my hair. Maybe I should quit worrying about being silly and just enjoy myself!

  14. Good for you for giving that lady a compliment! I love complimenting women, who are usually surprised, and sometimes get shy. But I think it boosts morale all the way around. I love your dress, btw. Also, I was just in the city the other day and took pictures of the windows at Bergdorfs. I was thinking of you! I will tell you when I post them, I can't wait to hear what you think.

  15. She...I say, go and wear that feather in your hair--I bet it'll look beautiful. Have some fun! We don't want to be invisible~
    Jill~and I felt good too, Jill. Cant wait to see the windows! Thanks for thinking of me~

  16. What a wonderful thing to do.
    I think American women are very generous in general. I was complimented a lot when in New York. The European might look at you, but wont say a word.
    I always make a point on complimenting.

  17. Paula, I was just over at Not Dead Yet Style reading about this. This is a great post and inspirational, not to mention you look gorgeous in that blue dress...I love the pattern. Debbie http://thriftygirlvintage.com

  18. You know, if all of us made a point to give out one compliment a day I bet the world would be a better place. I already feel like I'm becoming transparent, and I'm only 41! (Feel's like 29 though)


  19. I'm only 40, and I've been feeling invisible lately. I'm trying to push past that.

    And I love that cute crop denim jacket with that bold dress!